When people want to fatten me up
What do I do when people want to fatten me up? is a question that I received in an email from Evelyn in Omaha.
Thanks to your Slender For Life™ Weight Loss Hypnosis program I’ve lost almost 60 pounds since January. (Only 30 more to go!)
I went to a Halloween party Saturday night and there were people there I had not seen since New Year’s. Their reactions were mixed. A few were genuinely supportive and encouraging. Some were worried that I was sick and there were a few who were downright pushy at trying to fatten me back up.
I heard, “you don’t need to lose more weight,” and “oh, come on, a piece of chocolate cake won’t hurt you.”
I realize these are friends that are my former eating buddies and that I used to look like them. I didn’t criticize them for what they ate but I sure felt judged for no longer eating like them.
Please help me. What do I do when people want to fatten me up?
Not falling into the old trap
I applaud you for not falling into the old trap of doing what everyone else does. Congratulations!
In my book, Becoming Slender For Life, I wrote, “If you’re lucky, there are two, maybe three people in this world who will truly support you.
I remember when I was in my 20s my wife and I went to Iowa to visit my grandmother and my great aunt. I had lost about 30 pounds (I was still significantly heavier than I am now). My great aunt took one look at me and tore into my wife, accusing her of not feeding me and not taking care of me. Her tirade was followed with a meal of pig’s feet, beans and fresh homemade white bread. Sad to say, after that experience I very quickly put on more than 30 pounds.”
Here’s the deal, not all of your friends and family may be thrilled that you are releasing weight. The reasons for this are complex, and don’t necessarily imply that you have mean-spirited people in your life. It is often inadvertent on the part of the saboteurs—they rarely realize what they are doing. This can be one of the toughest hurdles to leap, especially if the saboteurs are in your immediate circle.
Your weight loss forces those around you to examine their own weight, and that may make them uncomfortable because they aren’t ready to change. Or perhaps they’ve witnessed your past weight loss failures and are simply trying to prevent another one. Or they could be simply jealous and fear that you may seek out new relationships to match your new body and improved self-image.
Your family and friends may also need reassurances from you that you will not abandon them once you reach your target weight. Rather than nagging and pleading, be a good example for them, and some of them may well join you in your quest. Perhaps you’ll need to find new ways of participating in familiar social rituals. If you’re accustomed to going out for drinks after work with pals, you can still go—just order mineral water and a veggie plate instead of a pitcher of beer and a heap of onion rings. Or if you need to turn down food offered by friends and family, make sure they understand it’s the Boston cream pie you’re rejecting, not them.
Evelyn, I encourage you to remember to be true to you, to your body and to your health. Don’t preach the value of a healthy lifestyle. Just do your own thing. As Wayne Dwyer said, “step out of the pack but do it in such away that they don’t notice.” Sure – they will notice that you’ve lost weight but only talk about it with people with whom you feel safe.
Keep up the great job of letting go of the excess weight.
My best wishes,
How about you?
How about you? Are you overweight? Do you want to lose weight and this time keep it off? My weight loss hypnosis can help you. We can meet worldwide online for your home, office, hotel or RV. Give me a call or email me at Roger@HypnosisHealthInfo.com and schedule your free hypnosis for weight loss consultation.
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