The benefits of a little self-love is surprising. Research shows that self-love outperforms beating yourself up. People learn hypnosis to overcome self-defeating behaviors in my Seattle hypnosis and Bainbridge Island hypnosis offices. For many, learning self-love, thinking positive thoughts and changing self-defeating behaviors can be challenging. Self-compassion can be learned and become the new normal with hypnosis. When you give yourself hypnotic suggestions that are supportive and empowering you can achieve your goals. Self-compassion is at the root of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. Be compassionate and use self hypnosis several times a day, everyday.

The Surprising Benefits of a Little Self-Love

Psychology Today Nov 26 2012 – 9:35pm: Are you highly self-critical? Do you beat yourself up over failures? Do you work too much and push too hard without giving yourself time to breathe? Do you feel the need to compete, outperform others, and move ahead of the pack? We live in a society that regularly sends us the message to achieve more, work harder, win, be perfect, be the best. There is of course nothing wrong with having goals and dreams to pursue. However, most of us don’t stop to consider whether our self-critical and competitive attitude is actually helping us achieve these goals or whether it might actually be standing in our way. New research suggests self-compassion may be a far superior alternative.

Self-Criticism: A Self-Defeating Tendency
Kristin Neff, associate professor of Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas and pioneer of research on self-compassion, has shown that when our self-worth depends on out-competing others, we actually become more insecure and anxious: if we fail, we become highly self-critical, adding to our misery. Faced with criticism, we become defensive and feel crushed. We give up in the face of challenge. Moreover, competition fosters disconnection: rather than building social connection which research shows is essential to well-being, we view others as obstacles to overcome and we ultimately feel more separate from others. The primary goal of our desire for success is to be successful, to belong, and to be loved yet ironically self-criticism and competition end up having the reverse effect.

Self-Compassion: A Healthy Alternative that Reaps Results
Where self-criticism leaves us powerless and distraught, self-compassion is at the root of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. With self-compassion, you value yourself not because you’ve judged yourself positively and others negatively but because, you are intrinsically deserving of care and concern like everyone else. Self-compassion means treating ourselves as we would a friend. Rather than berating, judging, or adding to a friend’s despair, we listen with empathy and understanding, encourage them to remember that mistakes are normal, and validate their emotions without adding fuel to the fire. Neff defines self-compassion as “being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical; perceiving one’s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as isolating; and holding painful thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness rather than over-identifying with them.” (See The Three Elements of Self-Compassion, below).

Self-critical over-achievers are not the only ones that lack self-compassion. Some of the kindest people do as well. Neff’s work confirms this observation: There is no correlation between the trait of self-compassion and feelings of compassion towards others. Many people, women in particular, are far more compassionate and kinder towards others than to themselves. Fortunately, self-compassion can be learned. It is a practice that can help us all become less self-critical and, by preventing the stress and turmoil thereof, allow us to be happier, more successful, and of greater service to others.

Self Compassion Leads to Increased Strength

Self Compassion Leads to Increased Productivity

Self Compassion Leads to Decreased Stress

The Three Elements of Self-Compassion
Self-kindness. Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. .

Common humanity. Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes. All humans suffer

Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

Read The Surprising Benefits of a Little Self-Love

Harsh self-criticism activates the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) and elevates stress hormones such as cortisol in our bloodstream. With self hypnosis you can begin to loosen the grip of self-critical thoughts and emotions and be loving and compassionate towards yourself. Learn hypnosis and give love to yourself today.

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