Fall: When the Trees Show How Lovely It Is to Let Go
I love fall. The cooler air feels good, the light changes, and the days become shorter. All around us, trees begin doing something that many of us humans find incredibly difficult. They remind us how lovely to let go can be.
There is a saying I particularly love: Fall, when the trees show how lovely it is to let go. Think about that for a moment. Trees don’t fight to keep every leaf. They don’t seem to worry about what they will look like when their branches are bare. When the season changes, they release what they no longer need. Maybe there is something we can learn from that.
Why Doesn’t It Always Feel Lovely to Let Go?
We humans can be remarkably good at holding on. Anger, hurt, guilt, disappointment, fear, and regret can stay with us for years. Sometimes we replay a conversation from 20 years ago and still feel our body react. The words come back to us: what someone said, what we said in return, and sometimes what we wish we had said instead.
Then there are the things we hold against ourselves. We tell ourselves, I should have known better. I should have made a different choice. Why did I do that? Why can’t I get over this? The event may be long over, yet emotionally we can continue experiencing pieces of it as though the past still needs our attention.
Our minds and bodies are connected. Thoughts and emotions can influence physical responses such as muscle tension, breathing, and the stress response. The American Psychological Association explains how stress affects systems throughout the body. Our bodies are designed to handle stress in small doses, but ongoing stress can become a very different experience.
There is also some fascinating research about what happens when the emotional effects of everyday stress continue after the stressful event is over. An NIH summary of a study involving more than 1,100 adults reported an association between negative feelings that lingered the day after everyday stressors and poorer health outcomes years later. That doesn’t mean we should deny difficult emotions or blame ourselves for having them. To me, it reinforces the value of learning how to experience emotions without having to carry every stressful moment forward indefinitely.
Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
This is important because people sometimes tell me they can’t let go of something because it mattered too much. Letting go does not mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen, deciding that someone else’s behavior was acceptable, or welcoming someone back into your life.
You can remember without continually reliving. The lesson can remain without requiring you to carry all the pain. Even when something affected you deeply, it no longer has to determine how you feel today.
Letting Go of What Once Protected You
Sometimes the things we want to release once served a purpose. A fear may have helped keep you safe. A belief may have helped you make sense of something when you were younger. A behavior may have been the best solution your unconscious mind could create at the time.
That doesn’t make the old response wrong. It may simply mean its season has passed. Something that helped you get through yesterday may not be what you need today.
This is where I find hypnosis especially useful. With hypnosis, we can work with unconscious patterns instead of simply arguing with ourselves consciously. We can explore what a thought, feeling, or behavior may have been trying to accomplish and help the unconscious mind discover new choices. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health reports that hypnosis has been studied for a variety of concerns, including pain, IBS, and anxiety associated with some medical procedures, although the strength of evidence varies depending on the condition.
You don’t have to hate the old response or fight with yourself. You can appreciate that it once tried to help you while allowing something more useful to take its place.
Fall Shows Us How Lovely It Is to Let Go
Take a look at the trees this fall. A leaf changes color before it falls. Green becomes yellow, orange, red, or brown. Eventually the connection loosens. A breeze comes along, and the leaf releases.
What might you be ready to release? Maybe it’s resentment toward someone. Perhaps it’s guilt over something you cannot change. Maybe it’s an old story about yourself: I’m not good enough. I’m too old. I’ll always be this way. Nothing ever works for me.
Those aren’t necessarily facts. They may simply be thoughts repeated so many times that they began to feel true. Thoughts can change. Beliefs can change. Our relationship with the past can change too.
Keep the Wisdom and Release the Weight
This may be my favorite way to think about letting go: Keep the wisdom and release the weight. You don’t need to erase your past. Your experiences helped shape who you are. Some were wonderful, while others may have been incredibly painful. You can honor all of that without dragging every piece of it into tomorrow.
You can remember someone and release the anger. A mistake can remain part of your history without requiring you to carry the shame. Even a frightening experience can be remembered without living each new day as though that experience is still occurring.
Sometimes letting go happens gradually, and that’s okay. A tree doesn’t drop every leaf at once either. One leaf goes, then another, and then another. Eventually the tree is standing there with bare branches. It isn’t broken or defeated. It is simply ready for another season.
What Are You Ready to Let Go Of?
Maybe this fall is an opportunity to become curious. Instead of asking, Why can’t I get rid of this? you might ask yourself, What am I ready to release? Consider what you have learned from the experience. Then imagine what might become possible if you didn’t have to carry it in the same way anymore.
You don’t need to force an answer. Allow your unconscious mind to consider the questions. Sometimes change begins with simply realizing that holding on is no longer necessary.
Fall gives us this beautiful reminder every year. There is a time to grow and a time to hold on. There is also a time to release. When you see those leaves drifting down this fall, perhaps you can remember that letting go doesn’t diminish the tree. It prepares the tree for what comes next.
The same can be true for us. Fall is when the trees show us how lovely it is to let go.
If there is something you are ready to release, hypnosis may help you create a different relationship with the thoughts, emotions, and unconscious patterns you have been carrying.
My Life Doula Care has helped many people since 1997, to let go and move forward. If you are ready and willling to let go, email me at Roger@HypnosisHealthInfo.com.
Your Hypnosis Health Info Hypnotic Suggestion for today:
I am letting go and moving forward.
Since January 2, 1997
Learn more about Palm Desert Hypnosis with Roger Moore.
Call (760) 219-8079 or email for more information.
Celebrating 29 years of Medical Hypnosis with Roger Moore
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