Hypnosis has been a big help in week 2 of our life with Mom. We are thankful that this week we’ve had no more trips to the ER but there still has been physical, mental and emotional stress. There has been so much to figure out and do. It’s even more stressful at Christmas with everything else that goes on. Self-hypnosis has helped to increase energy and patience and to manage stress. I am totally convinced that every caregiver should learn hypnosis. Thanks to hypnotherapy, this is truly the most wonderful time of the year!
We have been busy trying to get the support Mom needs lined up to keep her insurance company happy. Just getting it put together seems like a full time job. Marilyn found a private caregiver that is excellent and I scheduled an interview with Catholic Charities to pick up the slack. Also, for backup, I arranged a meeting with Interfaith Caregivers. We thought we had it all set up and then we get a letter from the Insurance Company that the maximum per day is $50.00 per day which we knew, but the surprise was they will only pay $14.00 per hour. The caregivers charge $22.00 per hour.
Wednesday brought the handyman to install a handrail for the 3 steps in the garage. I had planned on doing it on Sunday, but the day in the ER took care of that.
On Thursday Marilyn took Mom to the doctor to make sure that everything was all set up in case Mom needed a MD. That went well and Marilyn felt good that she could get Mom in and out of the house and car on her own and handle the walker. It is especially stressful for Marilyn to be the one to see that she gets in and out without falling. Marilyn couldn’t catch Mom if she did fall.
By Friday I was so exhausted that when the alarm went off at 4:30 AM for spin class, I shut it off. Sleep was the best thing that I could do for me.
We had given Mom our room because she couldn’t get her walker to the spare room and bath. This didn’t work out because it was too far for her to make it from the living room to the bathroom. I figured out how we could move some furniture out and create a path wide enough for her to get to the guest bedroom and bath. The guest room had water bed so we ordered a new mattress which was delivered on Friday. Saturday we tore the house apart and moved things around. We moved back into our bedroom and got Mom all set up in the guest room. So far she has made it to the bathroom every time.
When Mom came out of her room Saturday morning and saw the house torn up she started crying. She has been doing quite a bit of this telling us that she is such a bother and tells us over and over how sorry she is for being such a “nuisance.” We finally had to talk to her and told her no more “I’m sorry.”
For the most part Mom has spent the week in the recliner writing her Christmas cards (we haven’t even started yet) with the TV on all the time and turned up loud. (I did get her scheduled for a hearing test on January 3.) But the constant blaring of the tube easily rattles our nerves if we let it.
Saturday night the three of us went out to dinner and then drove around to look at Christmas lights. Sunday she really wanted to go Christmas shopping with me, but when the time came she said she just felt too lousy to go. Of course had she gone with me my three hour trip would have been at least double that or I wouldn’t have gotten it all done. I knew she was feeling miserable as she never got dressed and put in her ear rings.
Monday Mom woke up her usual self. She felt good, was happier and on the go. She dressed, fixed her hair and put in her ear rings. Somehow we got to talking about tattoos. She has always wanted rose tattoo on her shoulder. I told her I’d take her and get a matching one. We laughed and she decided that she had enough pains that she didn’t want to add to them.
I spent over an hour Monday morning on the phone with her insurance making sure that her Waiver of Premium does not get disrupted. An hour of time that was needed for my business and for clients. I used self-hypnosis while I was on hold and allowed a peace to come over me knowing that it will all be OK.
Tuesday was another good day for Mom, her caregiver took her out to get her nails done. She came home smiling with beautiful deep red nails for Christmas.
We are trying hard to make sure that Mom feels welcome and that she feels at home. We are finding the balance of being nice and wanting to help her and also recognizing that Mom needs to get up out of her chair and get her own water. The more she sits and lets us wait on her the weaker she becomes. We are setting up physical therapy for her but she doesn’t seem very interested. I just keep talking about if she wants to live on her own she has got to build her strength and keep up her mobility.
I don’t know if Mom will ever return to her own home to live alone, but we do plan to go shop for carpet and paint after Christmas. She is excited about that. We are already talking about adding color to her formerly all white house.
Sure, there are moments when our lives are disrupted or we can’t just drop what we are doing and run. We miss that freedom. We did not attend several holiday parties and decided that our plans for hosting are now delayed until its warm and dry outside this summer. With all that is going on, I think that the three of us are adapting and learning to live together very well. Hypnosis helps keep things in perspective and keeps us smiling.
Caregiving is exhausting. I really think that hypnosis allows me the space to be much more aware of the love and tender moments than of the stress. Self-hypnosis helps me remember that we are doing our best. If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with life and with the holidays, learn hypnosis and make this the most wonderful time of the year! Get hypnosis help.
Marilyn and I truly feel blessed to have Mom here with us for Christmas. While this Christmas may not look like what we had planned, it is far better than we could have imagined. For that, we are thankful!
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