Negative self-talk

I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t experience negative self-talk. For some of us, it’s more pronounced, it’s louder and more frequent than for others. For some, this negative chatter is so severe that it is cruel and torturous. Alcohol, drugs, food, cutting and other deleterious behaviors are seemingly the only option for temporary relief.

One alluring component of negative self-talk is that you can play victim because of it. You don’t have to take responsibility for your actions. You are prisoner to it and can justify to yourself why you are where you are in life.

If your self-talk and belief is, “I’m not lovable,” then it becomes almost impossible to receive love from your partner, your family or friends. And when you don’t feel loved by your partner, you get to be right again, gathering another mark on your score sheet proving that you are unlovable.

Negative self-talk

Addicted to negative self-talk

Take a moment now and reflect on your own negative self-talk. What are the words you say to yourself? What messages are you giving to yourself? How do these messages hurt you? Where in your life have they held you back?

What do you experience when you tell yourself the opposite or positive side of this negative chatter? Is there a thought of “yeah, right?” or “you’re lying?” What are the physical sensations in your body when you try to give yourself the positive message?

Often this negative chatter becomes an endless loop of self-deprivation. When this occurs, you are in that negative chatter trance. This trance is a bad habit and it is addictive. Remember that your body has become addicted to the chemicals your body produces when you have these negative thoughts. When you try to give yourself the positive message, your body goes into withdrawal and things get wonky. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel normal and that too is uncomfortable. It seems like you just can’t win. And that easily leads to more negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Your Hypnosis Health Info Hypnotic Suggestion for today:

I think positively, take responsibility for my actions and I create my own future.

Take control of the trance you are in

You can take control of the trance you are in and get out of that negative trance and into the trance of being your best self.

Here are some tools that you can use:

  1. Bring the chatter to mind right now and discern if it is your voice or someone else’s. Now take that same chatter and have a cartoon character say it. (Daffy Duck, Teletubbies, Olive Oil, Dorie …..) Notice, what happened to the power?
  2. Bring the chatter present again with its usual voice and put that chatter in your big toe and yack at you from there. Notice, what happens to the power?
  3. One more time, bring the chatter back again with its usual voice and step out of the chatter, shrink it down to about the size of a postage stamp. Make it all black, grey or white and put it in the far left hand corner of the room on the floor (if you are right handed. Far right hand corner if you are left handed.) Now, what happened to the power of it?

All three of those are powerful NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques. For most people, at least one of those techniques will diminish the power of the old chatter. Choose the one that works best for you.

These techniques are interrupters. As soon as you become aware of the trance, you can use one of these techniques, get out of the “not good enough” trance and get back into your body – aware of your feet on the floor, butt in your chair and aware of breath in your body. With practice, you can make that change very quickly.


Is your alarm clock a pleasant sound? Mine isn’t! How about the smoke detectors in your home? Mine are loud and obnoxious. Alarm clocks and smoke detectors are wakeup calls, attention getters. You need to break that trance just as an alarm clock shatters your sleep. You need to create a call to a different action.

One of the chatters that ran my life was “Not good enough, Roger.” No matter what I did, it was never enough. It would get so that I would stop trying to do things because I kept raising the bar, and I could never be successful. To this day, there is not a day that goes by that I do not hear “Not good enough, Roger.” But where it used to be an anchor, it’s now a friend-it’s my wakeup call, a call to action. The message now is “Stop coasting, Roger. Show up and be your best. Be enough.”

What is the opposite or positive statement that can be created from your negative chatter? For example, if you typically tell yourself: “I can’t win….every time I try something new I fail,” then the next time you start to run that tape, replace it with a positive counter statement. Such as: “I am a winner…..I have wonderful ideas that produce great results.” Or, if you say to yourself: “Why bother with dieting…..I always regain the pounds I’ve lost,” think instead: “I now have the tools and ability to permanently release my excess weight.”


In Keep the change, I taught you another way that you can switch trances. You can get out of the negative self-talk by saying or thinking Change. With practice, this is another excellent way to get out of the negative chatter.

With each of these tools, you can break the habit of your negative self-talk. If you are being the Greatest Expression of You, you cannot have negative self-talk. There is no way that you can be living in joy, being the Greatest Expression of You and have that old toxic self-talk. They are incompatible.

Neuroscience demonstrates that you can change your brain by thinking differently.  Using the Becoming the Greatest Expression of You process you can stop firing and wiring the old neuropathways of negative self-talk. When you fire and wire new neuropathways with the Greatest Expression of You, you are modifying and reprogramming your brain. When you think positively you can take responsibility for your own actions and create your own future that is greater than your past. Choose positive thoughts, take responsibility for your actions and create your future to be greater than your past.

Since January 2, 1997
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