Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day so Socks On The Floor, by Susan French, is the perfect new addition to the Hypnosis Health Info Article Library. When we are making the socks on the floor about our emotions, we are in a hypnotic trance. In that moment, we are living unconsciously. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I am finding that hypnosis is a perfect tool to use in relationship counseling to get out of the emotional upset trance and move into a trance of emotional honesty and integrity. I have also discovered that when each partner learns self-hypnosis, they can more easily be responsible for their thoughts and emotions. In other words, when we are honest with ourselves about what Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks refer to in Conscious Loving as the microscopic truth, then we can be responsible for our own feelings. Rather than blaming my wife for making me feel, I can use the opportunity to heal my upset. With hypnosis, we can live and love consciously.
Socks On The Floor
IT’S NEVER ABOUT THE SOCKS ON THE FLOOR (or why do we keep talking and nothing ever changes?)
Have you ever noticed that when people argue or disagree that, if you really pay attention, the issues are not really what they seem to be disagreeing about on the surface? In fact, when you listen to these kinds of unpleasant exchanges or are stuck in the middle of one, do you notice that there is a feeling that seems to hover about that each person is really talking about something else, even if the “topic” is the same? Kind of like the communications are coming towards each other but instead of meeting in the middle, they each seem to go right on past the other person, off into some dark corner and never the twain shall meet.
One Saturday evening, after I had been straightening and cleaning and scrubbing and dusting and vacuuming all day, he came home, trudged up the stairs as exhausted as I had ever seen him. He plopped down on the bed, took his shoes and socks off and threw them into the middle of the floor. I was devastated, hurt and confused…and madder than hell.
We looked at each other and then at the socks and then at each other. For a moment we were both mute. Our faces were like stone, beet-red and frozen.
Fortunately for us, we looked back at the socks on the floor and then started to laugh. Because somehow, we both realized at the same time that our feelings were really: “if you loved me, you would understand how exhausted I am and wouldn’t care if I threw my socks on the floor” and “if you loved me, you would understand how hard I worked, how good it felt to have everything perfectly neat and clean, and you wouldn’t throw your socks on the floor.”
We were lucky that we somehow were able to see through to the real issues instead of fighting about the “socks on the floor.” That dynamic became forever more to be known as “it’s not about the socks on the floor.” The real issue was always “if you really loved me…” ~ Susan French, M.A., CCHT
With relationship hypnosis you have the opportunity to move out of the unconscious blame trance – making your partner wrong for how you feel – to a conscious trance of responsibility and integrity. Self-hypnosis allows you to recognize the real issue and to share your microscopic truth. It’s really not about the socks on the floor! Love consciously with hypnosis.
I highly recommend Conscious Loving, by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks to any couple looking to live a more conscious life. You can purchase Conscious Loving in the Hypnosis Health Info Store.
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Your Hypnosis Health Info Hypnotic Suggestion for today:
I love consciously.
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