Good death

What does a good death look like for you? Does that question upset you? Does it make you uncomfortable? Not many people are comfortable talking about death.  The reality is that none of us are leaving this world alive. Sometimes, the only way to get more comfortable with something is to face it.

So have you talked with anyone about what a good death looks like for you? Do you have a person that will be in charge of caring out your wishes in the event that you are no longer able to do so? How about a will – do you have one? Do you have an Advance Directive? Have you considered The Five Wishes®? What are your thoughts about a DNR? Do you have Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment? What do you want in regards to organ donation?

Of course there is more: Burial, natural burial, cremation ….? Do you want a funeral and what do you want it to be?

These are just a few of the important conversations that we should all be having. Not only for ourselves – but for those that we leave behind.

Important conversations

I remember when my Dad died. He and Mom had a will and they had their arrangements made and paid for at the mausoleum. But there had been no discussion about a funeral. So my grieving Mom had to plan his funeral. Yes, she had my sister, my brother and I there to help, but she should never have had to make those decisions at that point in time.

Before Mom died, we had conversations about her Five Wishes®. She was very clear that she wanted to die at home and that we were not to call 911. We had conversations about her funeral. She wanted a celebration so that’s what we put in writing. She chose the songs, the charity that she wanted memorials sent to and the people involved in this celebration.

About 3 months prior to her death, we had set her up with monthly palliative care visits. During the last two weeks of her life hospice came every day. Her wishes were honored and Mom did get to die in her own bedroom with my brother at her side. My Mom had a good death.

Yes, it was still hard when she died, but we didn’t have to guess or even really think about what she wanted. She had told us and we just had to carry it out. Not only did she get her wishes honored, she made it so much easier for us.

Advance Directive

My wife and I recently just moved and I went to a new doctor about a shoulder injury. The receptionist was surprised and elated when she asked if I had an Advance Directive and even more surprised that I carried the card in my wallet. She said that she wished more people had an Advance Directive and that those who did, carried the card with them.

Sadly, only one in five Americans have an Advance Directive or Living Will.

Good death

The goal for planning a good death

The goal for planning a good death is to help empower you to live your best fullest life. There is a peace of mind to know that your health care wishes will be respected in the event you can’t speak for yourself.

Five Wishes® takes the guessing out of caring and empowers you to voice your individual care wishes and bring them to the forefront of the discussion. Five Wishes® helps you to have a fearless and joyous attitude towards life.

Five Wishes®

My wish for:

  • The Person I Want To Make Health Care Decisions For Me When I Can’t Make Them For Myself
  • The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want
  • How Comfortable I Want to Be
  • How I Want People to Treat Me
  • What I Want My Loved Ones to Know

I’ll ask it again, what does a good death look like for you? Isn’t it time that you start talking about it and put it in writing? If you’d like to talk about your good death and/or living your best fullest life, we can meet at Palm Desert Hypnosis or online worldwide. Give me a call at (760) 219-8079 or send me an email.

Hard Conversations: How to Talk to Your Care Team and Loved Ones about Dying

“The meaning of a ‘good death’ is very personal,” Dr. Lichtenthal says. “It can be about modeling a specific attitude toward dying — and toward living — for loved ones. It can involve addressing unfinished business, such as having important conversations or doing things one has always wanted to do. It can involve knowing you have made your wishes clear or have taken care of estate issues so others will not have to. It can involve having certain music playing.”

Some people want to die at home, with their family present. Some people prefer hospice care, which is a specific form of supportive care that aids people as they near the end of life. Others prefer medical intervention for as long as possible. It’s important to think about what feels right for you, and to make it known. “This can lead to one’s end-of-life wishes being fulfilled, and it also relieves those who may ultimately be in the position of making decisions on behalf of their loved one,” Dr. Lichtenthal says. Having to guess someone’s wishes can be difficult for relatives and loved ones to manage. “Leaving decisions to family puts them in a precarious position,” adds Mr. Licciardi. “They are asked to make vital decisions for those they care most about in a very stressful environment.”

Read: Hard Conversations: How to Talk to Your Care Team and Loved Ones about Dying

Meredith Begley

Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center

Your Hypnosis Health Info Hypnotic Suggestion for today:

I have a fearless and joyous attitude towards life.

Since January 2, 1997
Learn more about Palm Desert Hypnosis with Roger Moore.
Call (760) 219-8079 or email for more information.

Celebrating 22 years of Medical Hypnosis with Roger Moore

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