I remember in grade school all the excitement and anticipation around giving and receiving those little Valentine cards. next to Christmas, it was my favorite holiday!

I am often asked about using hypnosis in relationship counseling and how that works. I have found over the years that I can combine my skills as a relationship counselor and as a hypnotherapist. Sometimes couples come in for their first session and they are beyond counseling. One, or both have already made up their mind that they want out of the relationship and counseling is more of an obligation that it is an honest attempt to save the relationship. I always ask in the first session with a couple, “is this relationship worth saving?” Earlier this week I hardly had the words out of my mouth and the woman very firmly said “NO!”

Fortunately, that is not always the response. Sometimes, the couple still love each other, they can’t imagine being without each-other, and yet the relationship is in trouble. Couples will come into my office upset with each-other and have a very negative relationship trance that they operate from. Using hypnotherapy, they have the chance to make a paradigm shift and move into a new relationship trance that allows them to hear each-other. Hypnosis is a powerful tool to facilitate making major shifts in relationships. I have witnessed couples that have actually saved their relationship with hypnotherapy – not only through the hypnosis used in my office, but by each learning and using self-hypnosis. By first using hypnosis before communicating, each partner is able to be more present and more focussed on their partner rather than themselves.

Too often in relationships, we respond from defense and react with out truly hearing what our partner is communicating too us. And, too often, we blame our partner rather than taking responsibility for our own thoughts and emotions. We expect our parner to change rather than making our own change. Using self-hypnosis I can take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings and then hear my wife. I don’t have to agree, I don’t even have to understand – I just need to acknowledge her.

To have a healthy relationship, you first have to meet your own needs – you have to fill your own basket. Then, from your abundance of love, you have love to share with your sweetie. So, go be with your sweetheart today – listen to your partner and be sure to ask them how you can love them even better.

If you want more on relationships, read my Shape Up Your Love Life.

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